Anonymous said: my boyfriend shaved his beautiful golden hair and i dont rly like him anymore help how do i love him again
put him in a wig
find the hair and glue it back to his head while he’s sleeping
Don’t be such a vain, pretentious, bitch. Actually, dump his ass. He can do better than you. Easily.
oh my god my dad just went out to walk the dog and he must have got halfway down the street and then he just came back and I was like “what’s the matter” and he just said really quietly “i forgot the dog” and my dog was just siTTING BY THE DOORSTEP WITH HIS LEASH ON LOOKING REALLY SAD
What about those of us who are going to be fathers, but the woman we love and is pregnant with our child left us without even saying goodbye?
New platoon leader showed up. Calls a formation.
“Aw fuck,” runs through everyone’s minds.
LT says, “I’ve got some ideas for the platoon.”
Thought Chorus: “AW FUCK.”
Pacing LT: “I was raised by my father. A retired Command Sergeant Major.”
LT: “He raised me right. So I’m going to sit back, do a shit load of paperwork and get us the supplies that SFC said we need. Then I’m going to watch SFC like a goddamn hawk for the next month before trying to tell any of you what to do on the job.”
"AW FUCK! WE GOT A SMART ONE!"
And that’s how our LT managed to not catch any shit from anyone the whole damn time.
What if when you go to sleep, you’re not actually sleeping, you’re waking up…
think about it.
parents who vaccinate their children without their consent are terrible parents, no exceptions.
parents who let their children die of completely preventable diseases because they think 8 year olds are capable of making their own medical decisions are terrible parents. no exceptions